My perfect day would start with seeing this man lying next to me! Bongiourno fella!I would like to know what you're perfect day would entail? Who would be in it? What would you do? Where would you go? It can be anything you want it to be! It's your day! And who knows, maybe one day it might just come true!
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L is for Liverpool,
L is for Luck,
West Ham's blowing bubbles...
Finish the poem,
Without being rude...
(it doesn't rhyme)
I should be so lucky,
Lucky, lucky, lucky...
(K Minogue 1987)
Hello, hello (yes, we do love to milk the police jokes don't we?).
Well I have nothing productive as yet to add to this wholesome enterprise, apart from some inappropriately long words apparently, except to address the slanderous comments made about my character - comments such as 'OC is his fave show', that's crap, alright? Sure, I've watched it a few times, but I didn't inhale. And this whole ecclesiastic/law and order/boy in blue/man of the cloth bollocks is well out of line. So stop it at once, or you're all going to hell, you bunch of cockney thieving yobs.
Love you all, (except Uncle Fats, he knows why - dirty, dirty man) Tom x
This unfortunate old and pre-alzheimer sufferer has recently been abandoned in a deserted public toilet by his uncaring daughters. If anybody has seen this man in the outfit pictured here, (possibly with tampons in his ears too) wandering around the streets of Peterborough, please contact the police. Do not approach this man as he is argumentative, and has a strong tendency to attempt at humour! A concerned grand-daughter has offered a generous reward if anybody finds her aging and relatively wealthy grandfather.
Pictured here Christmas 2005 in his usual attire.
Here's Little Chrissie at the door of his windmill in Old Hamsterjam. His flat is quite nice, which makes it all the harder to work out why he looks like he's slept in a shop doorway!
Answers on a postcard to 2fatladies@jowleresearch.co.uk
Take a closer look at the picture to the left and check out the 6' x 6' panel of the new face of Imperial Tobacco. Yes, the world's 4th largest tobacco manufacturer have indeed chosen Mrs. Stephanie Braithwaite of Southsea to grace their latest exhibition stand, currently doing a nationwide tour of the country's most prestigious trade shows.
Trouble is, she doesn't actually know this yet. So, mum's the word, eh? Whatever you do, don't tell her...
