Hello Toms family... just a quick note to say Tom is fine, well, at least he was breathing last time I checked him in his hungover state. He loves all the people in his halls, especially his new best friend "Big D"- the two of them are inseperable- staying up into the late hours discussing stephen fry and philosophy (a course which incidently he really loves)
On a serious note to Mrs Tom's Mum... I have taught him how to wash. And I ironed his clothes. So he looks ok. And he's eating. He looks both left and right before crossing the road and is always sure to wrap up warm on the more brisk days. Your SausagePot is fine...
Also, apart from the shampoo and bees story, what is the third embarrassing story about your youngest? We are all very excited about completing the trilogy of silly stories about baby Tom.
Lots of Love
Tom and Abby (I'd be worried, your son has befriended a scouser)
Hello all you crazy family bastards!
Thank you all for a lovely weekend. much belly laughs and merryment all round. the percussion was second to none, the chicken took years to be done, everyone got bossed by my Mum, fantastic free food in my tum, we all got thoroughly plummed and thankfully no-one got bummed!
I write songs i does! I also take pickatures wiv my magic time freezing box and have set up a slideshow of moments trapped in time for your viewing delactation.
Pay attension cos here comes the science bit.....all you have to do is click here (yes! on the actual word here!) and i shall whisk you away with the use of the black magic to a site called "Shutterfly" where you must put in this email address barneybb.cockles@blogger.com and then the password "cockles" to get to the file named.....Graceland. Click on that and set up the slide show using the side promts!
It sounds technical i know but if i can do it..it must be spackerproof.
Enjoy our many chins and generally sigh at the mockery that the ravages of time has made of us all!
Love you all, Sam x
p.s. next time we must keep Noah off the babysham!!??!!
Thankyou Uncle Chris for a wicked weekend. You did us all proud xxxxxxx
Will you still need me? Will you still feed me? When I'm... 61?
3 comments Posted by The Dude at 8:15 am
It will come as a shock to us all that Dame Judi, the chain-smoking, booze-guzzling, tourette-suffering doyenne of the Cockles & Mussels scene has, this very day, actually made it to the ripe old age of 61.
'Fuck me!' I hear you cry, 'I never knew she had it in her.' Well she's made it and she will inevitably be expecting presents or other such birthday tributes, so dig deep and let's see if we can raise more than the £3.27 we managed last year (not exactly Comic Relief).
If you happen to see her in the next few days or weeks, please try not to make a fuss. She generally likes to keep a low profile to this type of thing. Why not try simply calling out (she's getting a little deaf), 'Oi! Jowel face! Many Happy Returns!' or 'Bugger me, you're old!' Trust me, nothing would make the old girl happier.
Happy Birthday, your excellency.
