Good evening all,
I am writing on your blogsite page on behalf of your son/nephew/cousin Sam who wrote me a letter explaining his utter astoundment at the lack of general computer tomfoolery that was expected of you, his somewhat learned but geographically challenged family.
What's the matter with you? I'm in a fucking wheel chair and even i can use the computer better than you workshy bunch of mockney's!...I've even been in The Simpsons!!...
Please get your assumedly working asses in gear or i shall be forced to visit you in those piss corners of this septered ilse you call homes and explain in detail all about my new space time continuim theories from my new book "Time is Shit, Get used to it!"
Lots of love and wayward electric wheelchair movements,
Steven Hawkins.
p.s. Feel free to read this letter in a put on computer spacker voice! I don't mind...everybody does!......really i don't care.....i promise you i get more fanny thrown at me than i know what to do with......no really? A massive brain seems to get them wetter than an Otter's pocket!!??
Hello! Looks like I'm one of you lot too! Wouldn't think it would you, what with the ever so slightly increasing jowel length, slitty chinese eyes which disappear when I smile, fat arse, genetic smoking habit, smutty humour and incessant wheeze when doing anything even remotely strenuous!
Whilst I'm here: can anyone explain the pie and mash thing to me? I desperately tried to like it! I really did! And it's not like I haven't tried a vast array of different things! I love snails for fuck's sake! What is it about pie and mash which could be any worse than things that crawl along the floor in their own juice? (And no Big Debs, I'm not talking about you!)
Answers on a postcard to: sleazyslut@lardarse.com.
(By the way, with regards to the picture, I can't explain this, but ask Alun and Debs! They seem to think Patsy reminds them of me! Can't for the life of me think why!)
Apparently i'm related to you all? Don't believe a word of it!! Knees up?....your mother's brown?...what on earth are you all on about!
That's right ....The Samster is truly as they say "In da house!" ....Laaaaaaavleeeey!!
It only seems like yesterday that this little fella came into the world, but today sees Emile hit the ripe old age of 3.
This is how he intends to spend this special day, greeting those fortunate enough to share his birthday with him from the comfort of his throne.
Joyeux anniversaire, Milou.
Although I wasn't actually able to make it (I was entertaining the French in-laws who KNOW how to eat!), the annual Grace family gathering at Walthamstow's Manze's Pie & Mash Emporium was a great success.
And once they'd got the important part of the day out of the way, they even took time out of their gastronomic adventure to go and march around London. Becky was in fact heard to utter, 'I don't know what we're marching for. I'm only here for the food.' Now there's commitment for you.
To see a photographic record of the day, click on the link above (or the delicious photo) and you'll be taken through to shutterfly.com - a photo sharing site. Enter the email address - barneybb.cockles@blogger.com - and the password - cockles - then select the photo album to view a slideshow. Enjoy.
